"In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful. All the praises & thanks be to Allah, the Lord of the 'Âlamîn. The Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. The Only Owner of the Day of Recompense. You (Alone) we worship, & You (Alone) we ask for help. Guide us to the Straight Way. The Way of those on whom You have bestowed Your Grace, not (the way) of those who earned Your Anger, nor of those who went astray." [1:1-7] Ameen..
It was raining on her last day.... to all my blogger friends.. please, if you have some time, recite AL-FATIHAH for my beloved cousin who just passed away on Saturday, 29 January 2011 @ 11.20 am at Subang Jaya Medical Center (SJMC)...
"She was only 35 and been married for only 10 months..."
She was a lovely person and always energetic even though she's been diagnosed with a cancer in her womb/ stomach (i can't remember) at the end of year 2008.... I remember at that time, I just came back from US after finishing my degree there.. she was one of my closest cuzin since her house is located just behind my house..
Of course, when she first time knew about her cancer, she was depressed (at that time, it was near Hari Raya Aidilfitri 2008.) Sooner later, she was back to her normal life again.... working at Petronas and living a normal life like usual.. I always thought that she gonna get well as before since she was always hiding her illness and we saw her as if she has no cancer at all.
Alhamdulillah, she finally got married on March 2010 after her husband proposed on December 2009. I was really happy for her. & she was lucky to have someone like her husband who always care about her despite her illness... i remember my cousin once said to me why she accept her husband's proposal:
" Azad kata nk kawin dengan kak mie sebab dia nk jaga kak mie kalau sakit nanti.."
Well, it is true. Her husband took care of her until her last moment. (terharu jugak tgk pergorbanan yang dibuat oleh suami my cuzin...) She looks very happy on her wedding day and we all forgot about her illness... as if she was a healthy person at that time.. believe me, she also gained some extra weight at that time.=)
Then, during last Hari Raya Aidiladha 2010 , my cuzin was rushed into SJMC after she claimed that she wasn't feeling well.
Since then, she's been hospitalized until her last moment....her husband as promised took a very good care of her...always sleeping by her side everyday and rarely left her alone in the hospital (except for work). His house is no longer a place to sleep. He just come back to take a shower and then go for work.The rest of his time is spent with her beloved wife...I also remember my cuzin once said to her in parent-in-law who came to visit her;
"Terima kasih sebab kurniakan anak seperti Azad..."
Well, usually I am not an emotional person, but when I last saw her body and face covered with a white blanket last Saturday, I felt unbelievably sad. I cried like a small kid. (orang kata jangan nangis kalau tgk orang meninggal.... tp well... i did cry soo bad smpai my mom bawak i kuar from her room coz I dah teresak2 smpai xckup nafas)
Actually, me, my husband n my eldest sister just visited her last 2 weekends (during my husband's bday). Although she looks weak at that time, but she was able to tell joke and have a conversation with us. It was as if she's going to get well soon. But last week, she was getting weaker and weaker.. so my mom all the way from Kelantan decided to come to visit her and my mom and my auntie arrived on Thursday, 27 Jan. They slept in the hospital together and took turns to take care of my cuzin.
My mom then came to visit me at Putrajaya on Friday, 28 Jan and said to me;
"Kak mie dah start bercakap yang bukan-bukan.... kejap ckp nmpk orang kat sana..kejap kat sni.. kejap cakap macam orang tgh meeting... dan bila ma baca surah Yassin kat telinga dia.. dia kata " sedapnya dengar mak su pah baca Yassin... clear je... "
I also remember my mom was saying that my cuzin started saying weird things as if she was recalling back her old times... from my mom's words, i could tell that my cuzin was slowly recalling her past with her family, friends, husband, and work.. although her words at that time weren't clear enough for us to understand..
The specialist who took care of my cuzin @ SJMC also said to my auntie that she can let my cuzin eats whatever she wants now... since she only have 2 -3 days to live.. so my cuzin eats a lot on that Friday including nasi, air milo etc...
" sedapnya air teh nih.... lama betul xminum..."
Well, it's true, since my cuzin was hospitalized, she only been given milk and some liquid foods to support her body... so when she was given the chance to eat whatever she wants, she ate like she never eat anything before..
On Friday afternoon also, many of her friends, bosses and so on came to visit her and at that time although she was weak, she's still able to recognize every one of them. What's more, she have her time to say sorry to everyone who have visited her;
" Maaflah kalau ada buat salah-silap selama nih.."
On 29 Jan, Saturday morning, my mom called me and said that they decided to bring back my cuzin to Kelantan in 2 hours (at that time my husband was out for his class at Wangsa Maju so I couldn't come to see her in the hospital). I then text my husband;
" Ma cakap diorang nk bawak kak mie balik Kelantan dengan ambulans.. so xsempat la g lawat dia ptg nanti "We actually did planned to visit her after my husband finish his class.. but when I text my husband, he said that he felt that something is going to happen, so he skipped the class and go straight to visit my cuzin. At that time, when my husband arrived at the hospital, my cuzin was really sick and couldn't talk anymore. What's more, my husband were there, witnessing the last moment when my cuzin passed away.. he called me immediately after that, with his voice, I could guessed that my husband was crying..;
" Aja... kak mie dah meninggal... "
I cried when I heard the news. Then,my husband asked me to get ready so that he could pick me up later to bring me to the hospital. When I reached there at noon, almost all of my relatives were already at the hospital. I actually couldn't believe my eyes when I look at my cuzin's body laying on the bed. It seems like we just talk to each other yesterday and suddenly she's gone. She's too young to be sick... but I believe that Allah knew best..
She's been suffering for 2 years (since late 2008) and I knew that we should accept the reality that she's already gone.. On that time, I saw many of us were crying, especially her parent-in-law and friends.. so the plan to bring back my cuzin to Kelantan by ambulance was delayed to settle all the arrangements to bring her body back to Kelantan..
Immediately after Zuhur prayer, her body was brought to Masjid Munawwarah, Seksyen 27, Shah Alam for mandi & sembahyang jenazah.. After Asar, her body was transported back to Kelantan by a Petronas ambulance... my cuzin's mom, my other auntie and my mom were together with my cuzin in the ambulance..
They arrived safely at Tanah Merah, Kelantan at almost 4 am... and my cuzin's body were buried after Subuh prayer yesterday...
Well,until today, I couldn't believe that she's gone... ='(
" Semoga Allah tempatkan kak mie di kalangan orang2 yang beriman... Amin.. we love u soo much sist.."p/s: If you have time, please sedekahkan Yassin juga for arwah my cuzin ye.. terima kasih banyak2..